


If: The Dire Spiral of Our Beloved Chat Noir

by Bounemr



Series: Twin AU [3]
Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Adrien isn't a good person but he is trying, Adrien salt, Gen, POV Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-04
Updated: 2020-01-04
Packaged: 2021-02-27 15:42:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,396
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22119604
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bounemr/pseuds/Bounemr
Summary: Adrien's POV through "If: Vignettes at Sunset" - Reading that first is highly recommended.
Relationships: Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir & Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug, Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir & Original Character(s)
Series: Twin AU [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1493630
Comments: 19
Kudos: 125





	If: The Dire Spiral of Our Beloved Chat Noir

_“I can no longer abide your childish behavior. You are putting Ladybug and yourself in danger.”_

Marinette is supposed to be the best of them. It’s a fact. An indisputable truth that Adrien knows in his bones. She may not be a superhero like Ladybug, but it’s unfair to hold heroes and regular people to the same standards. Of Paris, of Adrien’s class, of his friends, of… everyone, really, with the sole exception of comparing apples to oranges, Marinette is supposed to be the best of them. Even Mlle. Bustier says so! She’s their example. The paragon the rest of the class is meant to emulate.

After all, who else but the best of them can be so unendingly kind? Marinette’s patience knows no bounds – Adrien’s seen it for himself. Even when she makes mistakes, she always owns up to them and fixes them. She is always there for her friends, always available to lend an ear, and she gives great advice, too. She’s in love with him – which is adorable, if a little heartbreaking that he can’t return her feelings – so she’s awkward with him, but when he really needs her she’s never failed to put that aside to step up for him. She even inspires Chloé to change her ways. To become more like Marinette. Or, at least, Adrien _thought_ she did. Apparently, he’s wrong about that, too. Or maybe he’s not, and Chloé _is_ more like Marinette, but she’s just become this… façade that Marinette is putting up right now.

Adrien can’t believe that this is happening. It’s all too much, too fast. Marinette was _better_! Chloé was better! They were leaving Lila alone, and Adrien was right! When they backed off, things calmed down! Adrien still regrets that it took such a tragedy for Marinette to realize that – she never deserved to have her sketchbook destroyed, no matter how much she provoked Lila – but it was ultimately a good thing. It was like she was a whole different person after that. Calm, collected, back to the thoughtful girl he knows she is. Back to the kind, forgiving girl who can give Lila the chance she needs to be better. The same chance that made Chloé better. She struggled sometimes, butted heads, but it was all minor things. She was _better_.

So why – _why_ – is this happening? Why is Chloé springing from nowhere, pouncing on Lila? Why is Marinette _leaving him_? Why is Master Fu suddenly talking to him about responsibility and respect? Why can’t anyone see that he doesn’t deserve this? He doesn’t deserve to have his whole world ripped out from under him like a failed party trick.

Everything has to be one big joke. A lie. But it’s not funny.

But it’s okay. Everything is okay now. It has to be. Chloé outed Lila. Everyone knows she’s lying now. Everyone knows that picture of Marinette and Nino is fake. Everyone is apologizing. Marinette is the best of them. She’ll accept their apologies, and everything will go back to normal. They’ll all be friends again and everyone will finally stop fighting. Even Lila! Once she realizes she’s not fooling everyone, she’ll be forced to be more genuine. Adrien just knows that everyone will be her friend once they get to know her for real.

“I’m sorry.” It’s Marinette’s voice. So clear and sweet. It’s Marinette. She’ll apologize for ever trying to leave in the first place. She loves her friends so much. She’s the best of them. “I… I can’t stay.”

_No._

* * *

_“Ladybug needs you to fight alongside her. She cannot afford to fight you as well as the akuma.”_

Adrien doesn’t have many friends. There’s Nino, of course. Ladybug. Chloé. He’s friendly with the whole class, but his unique schedule and life as a whole has always made him feel like that’s as much as they’ll ever be. It’s sad, but he already has more friends now than he ever expected. And Marinette, of course, is his good friend. He’s honored to call her his friend. She’s friends with everyone. And she’s moving.

This is fine. Everything is fine. Marinette is transferring, yes, but she doesn’t want to! Adrien knows she doesn’t. The expression on her face alone is all he needs to know that. She’s devastated to leave them; she just feels like she has to.

It makes sense, really. Even if it ultimately comes down to her own antagonism, what she’s been doing for the past while has strained things between the class. She just feels like they don’t want her there. She even asked that specifically! It’s proof.

As soon as Adrien shows her that he wants her there, she’ll come back. That’s just the kind of amazing girl Marinette is. And he has the perfect opportunity, too! All his classmates are too passive, just rolling over and accepting this, but Adrien knows they won’t let him come if he speaks out now. He has to wait. He has to tell Marinette in person, when everyone else says good-bye. He’ll lead the charge, the others will agree with him, and then Marinette will realize there’s no need to transfer after all.

Marinette will be so hurt and lonely all on her own in a strange school without her friends around her, after all. Adrien really just wants to stop her from isolating herself even more than she already has. It already hurts to see that much.

So, that’s exactly what he does. He goes to their “good-bye” to put an end to it, but he doesn’t expect Marinette to bring one of her brother’s lackeys along. Especially not _him._ Ross puts Adrien on edge. He’s got a wicked glare, he’s aggressive; everything Adrien has learned as Chat Noir tells him that this boy is _dangerous_. The tension in his muscles, the power behind it; the authority in his gaze, the threat inside it, it’s all clear as day to Adrien.

He doesn’t understand how the others don’t see it. It’s so obvious when Ross shows up to what is meant to be a peaceful good-bye. He’s there to make sure the collar stays around Marinette’s throat. He’s there as insurance. The very thought makes Adrien want to vomit. Marinette isn’t leaving because she thinks they don’t want her back, she’s leaving because this boy – maybe the others, too – are _kidnapping_ her.

And how dare he kidnap sweet Marinette. How dare he manipulate her like this? Everyone knows Marinette has the kindest of hearts. Those villains at Solset are clearly using Ross’ inability to talk to make her pity him. Make her love him. Use her need to help people by putting something she can’t resist in front of her. It’s _vile_.

“Is this _seriously_ how you want to do this?” Alix is angry, hissing. She doesn’t _get it_.

Adrien doesn’t have a choice when Alix drags him away. Begrudgingly, he has to admit she has a point. This isn’t the way. It’s like he told Marinette: being mean has never changed anyone’s mind. Ross is manipulating her, making her pity him. If Adrien reacts with aggression, then he’ll only martyr Ross even more. He’ll only drive Marinette further into Ross’ arms. It’s written all over her face when she defends Ross. She’s only doing what she thinks is right, as she’s always done. That’s lead her to mistakes before, like with Lila, and it’s doing so now. Adrien has to do everything in his power to save her. It’s one thing when Marinette makes her own mistakes, but Adrien can’t simply let those good intentions be _used_ like this. She’s one of his important friends, and he will protect her.

* * *

_“If you continue to ignore your partner’s desires, you will find yourself without a partner at all.”_

Lila’s quiet; no one is fighting. The classroom is dead. Their wellspring of energy, their positivity, their Marinette, she’s gone. No one has the energy to fight, anymore.

And Adrien is a hero. He’s Chat Noir. He can’t just let this happen. This is a tragedy. This blanket over their class, the guilt gnawing at everyone, the unshed tears in all their eyes, it’s unacceptable. Because Ross thinks he can steal away their Marinette, they don’t have the chance anymore to make things right. They can’t talk it through with her, they can’t be friends like they used to. Marinette is trying, because of course, she is, but she’s so far away now that she just can’t do what she so desperately wants to. She can’t be their class’ light, anymore.

Unacceptable. Adrien will not let those thieves at Solset get away with this. He can’t. He can’t let their cruel selfishness tear his class apart. Marinette belongs with her friends. She belongs at Dupont. Like it always has been.

So, Adrien does the only thing he can think to do. He tries to rally the troops. He calls on his friends, his class, to help him get Marinette back but Lila is the only one who answers. She’s the only one who understands, even despite her animosity with Marinette. She’s not stupid, after all, she can see how the classroom has changed, and for all her faults Lila has never been passive. Ross is their threat, he’s Solset’s weapon. His pitiful disability is what cinches everything. If they can somehow remove that, then Marinette will come back to them. If Marinette sees how her absence is hurting their class, she’ll definitely come back. They just have to take her eye off of Ross for long enough to notice.

But how?

Marinette gets singular-minded about things she’s passionate about. Adrien loves that about her. It’s part of what makes her such a good friend. But it’s also why she didn’t listen to him about Lila, and it’s why she won’t simply listen to him about Ross. She’s so focused on the perceived injustice that she doesn’t realize she takes things too far.

“You knew?!” Nino exclaims. It’s unbelieving, betrayed. Adrien understands, he does, because now that Lila’s lies are out in the open it’s hard for the class to not be bitter. Marinette always helps them with that, too. It’s not just her own forgiveness she gives so freely, but she helps everyone else to forgive, too. She makes everyone just a little bit more like her just by being there, and so now that she’s gone, grudges remain longer than they should.

Longer than they should, but not long. Nino will understand as soon as he takes the time to think about it. The rest of the class will, too. It’s fine. This is all fine.

Or, it will be as soon as he gets Marinette back. If his class hates him in the meanwhile, fine. Adrien will just get her back himself. He’s used to being alone. He can do it. He’s a hero, after all. Once he does, everyone will realize he’s right. They’ll forgive him. They’ll be his friends again.

They have to. He can’t be alone again. If he has to walk into war alone for the promise of his friends on his return home, fine, but he _won’t_ go back to his lonely life. Not ever.

* * *

_“Ladybug is hesitant to tell you this because she does not want to hurt you.”_

Perfect. It’s the perfect chance. Ross is all alone, wandering too close to an akuma attack. If he’s warned off by one of Paris’ heroes, he’ll have to leave Marinette alone. As soon as he’s out of the picture, Adrien can pick her up and show her how the class is hurting. She’ll come back and everyone will live happily ever after.

And Adrien can’t lie, he’s a little angry. Not with Ross, he’s _furious_ with Ross – he’s just a little angry period right now. Master Fu keeps talking to him. His words keep bouncing around Adrien’s head and he just can’t get rid of them. He already knows all this! Adrien is a good hero! He knows where he’s messed up! Of course, Ladybug doesn’t want to get involved. It takes some doing, but Adrien realizes that. It makes perfect sense, after all. She’s said since the beginning that it’s too dangerous for them to reveal their identities even to each other.

Ladybug is as cautious as she is kind, and that’s part of the reason Adrien loves her. Of course, he can respect that she doesn’t want to reveal her identity. He’s not convinced it’s necessary, but he trusts Ladybug with his life.

And he understands now, too, that they can’t just date as heroes. They just don’t have the time for it. They’re already pressed thin with their daily lives and running off to fight akuma. If they take time out of their days to have dates all the time, they might compromise their identities. Their civilian selves will be missing too often. And past that, they can’t share personal details that might identify them, and that restriction doesn’t exactly make for a good date.

Adrien would rather wait. Truthfully, he’s glad Ladybug turned him down because of that. It means that their first real date will be more meaningful. If he got the date he wanted, he could have messed it up completely awkwardly trying to talk around their identity nonsense!

That’s Ladybug, though. Always thoughtful, always looking forward. The wait will make the payoff so much sweeter, because then there won’t be anything at all between them.

Still, he’s a little angry. Not with Ladybug – never with Ladybug – with Master Fu. It’s disappointing that he thinks he knows how Ladybug so obviously feels. It’s disappointing that Master Fu still thinks Adrien is the naïve, lovestruck boy he was when he first got his Miraculous.

Adrien is better, and he’s got his sights set on exactly what needs to happen. For everyone’s sake.

But Ladybug stops him. She pulls him and Ross up to a rooftop. Of course, that’s Adrien’s mistake. He should have brought Ross away before talking to him. Ladybug is totally right to be upset because of that. Villain or not, Adrien is a hero, and it’s his job to get everyone he can away from the akuma. She gives him his earned scolding and turns to tend to Ross.

And Adrien chokes back his surprise. “You know sign language, my lady?” He asks, but really, he shouldn’t. Of course, she does. She’s the best hero there is. It’s important to communicate with anyone, especially in crisis situations.

She really is amazing. Adrien can hardly believe that someone like her is his other half. He has no idea what he’s done to be so lucky.

They make short work of the akuma (and _sure_ , Adrien _supposes_ Ross helps out. A _bit_.) and as Ross makes his leave Adrien catches sight of the way Ladybug looks at him.

It’s so… fond. The light smile on her lips and the adorable little giggle she lets out strikes Adrien’s heart like an arrow. She watches him leave even when he doesn’t look back, and she hasn’t even given Adrien his customary fist-bump! They only ever forget that if they _really_ need to run off, not just because they’re watching some boy walk away.

He prods her for her attention, and she gives it to him, and it’s normal, but Adrien has a sinking feeling. Whatever happened just then isn’t normal. Something about Ross is getting to Ladybug, too, not just Marinette, and that’s terrifying to him.

He knows Ladybug has as kind a heart as Marinette does. It only makes sense that she might have the same weakness. As her partner, it’s his responsibility to warn her. He can’t straight up tell her that Ross is already manipulating a sweet girl like Marinette without revealing his identity, so he tries to keep it vague, but it backfires.

It hurts, the way she looks at him. He knows how he must sound, like he thinks _all_ disabled people will take advantage of her kindness. But he doesn’t believe that! They wouldn’t! Not on purpose, anyway. But he can’t tell her that without revealing what he knows about Ross and Marinette, and that would compromise him, so he has to hold his tongue and scurry away when Ladybug gets rightfully angry.

He needs to let her cool down. He can try again later, with a different approach. After all, if Ladybug falls victim to the same trap that Marinette is already in, she might end up getting hurt, too.

Secret identities really do make everything difficult. He only wants what’s best for her. His lady. He’s only ever wanted what’s best for the wonderful girls around him.

And Ross… that is a dangerous man. Adrien knows better than to underestimate him. Adrien’s a hero, after all. A warrior. He recognizes the look in Ross’ eyes. He can see what’s under them. Ross is just as much a warrior as Adrien is. He’s strong, proud, and willing to do whatever it takes to win. The sneer on his lips, the contempt in his eyes, it’s all too clear to Adrien.

Adrien can’t afford to lose to a guy like him. He can’t let a guy like that do what he likes with Marinette. Not with Ladybug, either. He only hopes he can figure out his next move before it’s too late.

* * *

_“Your unsolicited advances are making her extremely uncomfortable. She is afraid of what you will do, because she knows you will not listen to her.”_

Master Fu. Adrien doesn’t have time for this. He has to figure out how to save Marinette, he doesn’t have time for another lecture over things he already knows.

“Adrien Agreste. As guardian of the Miracle box, I regret to say that you have failed your reassessment. You are not worthy of using a Miraculous. Please return the black cat immediately.”

_No._ Adrien won’t do it. He can’t. He needs his Miraculous to save Marinette. He needs it to bring down Hawk Moth and be with his lady. He swore when he got it that he will never let it be stolen from him.

Adrien intends to keep that promise. Even if it is Master Fu who is trying to steal it. He will _not_ lose his Miraculous. To anybody.

_“The Miraculous of creation and destruction do exist in a balance, but it is Tikki and Plagg that are bonded that way, not Ladybug and Chat Noir.”_

_Not worthy._ The words ring in Adrien’s head. They’re a high, piercing note that sinks deep into his brain. _Not worthy._ It’s Ross that isn’t worthy. Not worthy of Marinette. Not worthy of Ladybug. Not worthy of the best women in existence. Not worthy of _Adrien’s_ friend. Of _Adrien’s_ love.

_Not worthy._ It’s Master Fu that is _not_ _worthy_. It’s not like he’s a real guardian, anyway. He ran, he let the temple be destroyed – Adrien remembers hearing about that. It’s proof. Master Fu is the _not worthy_ one. He’s _not worthy_ of deciding how _not worthy_ Adrien is or isn’t.

It’s time to act. It’s time to show everyone just how _not worthy_ Adrien is. He’ll find Ross. He’ll figure something out. He’s save Marinette. Then, he’ll save Ladybug. He’ll save her from this trap. He’ll save her from _not worthy_ trying to keep her apart from her soulmate. He’ll save her from whatever Ross of a boyfriend she has that is trapping her heart, just like he’ll save Marinette.

* * *

_“You are no more Ladybug’s soulmate than Plagg is. Anyone could use the cat, and they will be no more to her than you are.”_

Adrien just needs to find them. Find Ross. Find Ladybug. Ross first; Ross can’t fight back against a hero. Ladybug will be obligated to, but Ross _can’t_. If Ladybug stops him, if her duty stops him, at least he will have already saved Marinette.

Nothing. Not at Solset. He’s supposed to share a room with Marinette’s brother, but when Adrien peeks in the window and finally spies Thomas, the whole group _except_ Ross is there.

Except Ross and Marinette.

_No._

* * *

_“Ladybug could give up her Miraculous to someone else. That new Ladybug would not be your soulmate any more than the current one is.”_

_Why is Ross with Ladybug? What is he planning?!_

That two-timing weasel. Adrien is right. He’s _right_.

He knows. Adrien knows. He knows he’s sunk pretty low now. Attacking the guardian – in self-defense, but Ladybug won’t see it that way – hunting civilians, and he knows what he needs to do with Ladybug. He’s sunk. He’s sunk _far_. He knows that. But he’s _right_. Everything he’s done is deserved.

He’s the bad guy? For caring? For loving? For not wanting to be alone? He’s the bad guy, the villain who needs his Miraculous stolen from him, because he wants to save the best girl he knows? Because he wants to be with the girl who loves him? Because he wants to free her from everything stopping her from _letting herself_ love him?

Fine.

_“I will advise you, but if you do not change your behavior, there will be grave consequences.”_

He’ll plummet, then. Because he’s _right_.

It’s not just Marinette this boy is controlling. It’s Ladybug, too. Ross is two-timing the both of them, using the both of them because he _can_. He’s _always_ done that. Ross is that kind of person, the kind that does what he wants for no other reason than that he can and that he feels like it. No morals. No decency. No shame. He’s using Ladybug to get Adrien’s Miraculous, then he’ll use that to control even more innocent people.

If Adrien is going to sink, he’ll drag Ross down with him.

But Adrien isn’t stupid. Oh, no. If he goes for Ross, Ladybug will protect him. Even if he weren’t manipulating her, that’s just the kind of person she is. He’s not superpowered, so she’ll protect him no matter what. She probably would even if he were.

No, since the two are together, Adrien has no choice but to go for Ladybug first. Chasing Ross is a fool’s errand so long as Ladybug is still here to protect him. Plus, Ladybug is already on her timer. All Adrien has to do is stall her, not actually steal the earrings. And besides that, Ladybug’s heart isn’t in this fight. She doesn’t want to fight him. Targeting Ross first, giving Ladybug a reason to fight, is the worst mistake Adrien can make here. He only needs to see her face, so that he can’t be left behind when she takes his ring. Ross won’t get far. Adrien can get him right after Ladybug detransforms. She won’t have time to recharge and chase after him before Adrien teaches that villain the lesson he needs to, and then Adrien can give up his ring without a fuss.

He doesn’t want to, of course, but Ladybug is trapped by her duty and Adrien isn’t stupid. He knows his time is limited. It has been from the moment the guardian deemed him _not worthy_. He’d rather lose himself than lose Ladybug, so once he frees her, once he’s seen her face and she doesn’t have to hide anymore, then she can take his ring because Paris needs her more than him.

Especially with how far he’s sunk.

Just not yet. He just needs a little more time. He just needs to take the earrings for a moment. He just needs to save Marinette, save Ladybug, from the wickedness that’s using their kind hearts against them. Only then can he give in.

“Chat, please.” The tears in Ladybug’s eyes make Adrien feel like his whole abdomen is being turned inside out. He’s _right_. “I don’t want to do this.”

He knows. He knows she doesn’t. She never has. He knows she wants to be with him. He knows she doesn’t want to take his ring from him. He knows she doesn’t want to fight him. He knows. He wants that too. All of it. But she’s trapped by duty, so it’s up to Adrien to do what’s right.

“You know better than this, Chat!” Marinette. Sweet Marinette. Chastising him for doing what’s right.

It’s too much. He can’t believe Ross has such a tight grip on her. Ladybug is trapped by duty, but Marinette should know better. Marinette should know that he’s right. “So even you’ll turn on me?”

It’s too much. It’s more than Adrien can handle, because this whole time he’s been trying to save the two best girls he knows, but he’s too late. Marinette is too far gone. She is supposed to be the best of them. She’s supposed to stand by her friends and stand by _him_. She’s supposed to _know_ what’s _right_!

But she doesn’t. Adrien is too late to save her.

Fine. She can help him save Ladybug. Maybe that’ll even snap her out of Ross’ hold. Maybe seeing how he helps Ladybug will break her free herself. If not, well, at least Adrien will have saved one of the girls he set out to.

At this point, that’s all he can hope for. It’s all he has left.

_“You are not worthy of using a Miraculous.”_

And then all he has left is taken from him.

Master Fu’s words are still pounding in Adrien’s head. It’s a curse. It has to be. It’s Master Fu kicking him while he’s down. It’s the only explanation.

_“Please return the black cat immediately.”_

It’s only salt in the wound that Velox drags him home. But what does Adrien have left? His power is gone. His freedom is gone. His love is gone – oh, god, he’ll never know now who she is. Even his whole class’ light is gone.

It’s gone, and Velox is never letting it go.

That damn sneak. That liar, that manipulator. A fox he is. And he’s won.

* * *

_“Is this seriously how you want to do this?”_

No. No, it’s not. This isn’t at all how Adrien wants this to go.

Adrien trudges quietly into class. There’s a gentle din around him. Chatter. Adrien isn’t sure if he already knew everyone still talks like that, even though Marinette isn’t here anymore. Chloé turns her nose up at him. He’s known about that for sure. She’s been doing that for… a while now.

Alya glares at him. Adrien flinches because it almost looks like she might attack him. Like she knows what he’s done. It wouldn’t surprise him, honestly. Alya has always been good at knowing things.

He just slides into his seat and keeps his head low. That’s all the beaten can do. As the loser, that’s the only option left available to him. It leaves a bitter taste in his mouth, but that’s how it is.

“Agreste.” He flinches. Alix doesn’t even say anything but his name, but she pulls no punches. “I want to tell you something.”

* * *

_“Those people are Marinette’s family.”_

Adrien listens to what Alix tells him, but he’s too scared to tell her he doesn’t know what family is. How can Ross be Marinette’s family? How can he be that, but not Adrien? It doesn’t make any sense. What makes Ross special? Why has he earned that title, that’s evaded Adrien? Why does he get what Adrien can’t have? It’s not fair.

“I know Ross, actually.” Adrien says.

Alix drops her jaw in surprise. It’s the fourth time she takes to talk to him, after his ring was taken. She doesn’t know that part, though, so Adrien figures he must look just that miserable. If Lila’s right, he does.

Alix is aware that Adrien has met Camille before, of course, but not his history with Ross. The two histories aren’t all that different, though. Camille is an actress, and Adrien has acted with her. Adrien met Ross one day at a photoshoot. Another model. A silent model. Mysterious, cool, unbothered, even without the camera begging him to be. Adrien always wondered what was up with him. A childish part of him always thought Ross was just… too cool.

He lingers in Adrien’s mind like few others do. He has a presence that the camera loves that he can weaponize if he needs to. Adrien has seen firsthand how Ross can get anything he wants with just a glance, a flaunt, and his own cunning. Back then, it was remarkable in a way that brought warmth to Adrien’s cheeks. Even now it probably would, if Adrien weren’t so terrified of it.

Ross is practically a no-name model, at least among the public (definitely not at all among those in the industry), but he still manages to ensorcell even Adrien’s most difficult coworkers. Notoriously finicky cameramen love him. Designers love him. He just commands a room so easily. The one time Adrien has seen Ross and Adrien’s own father interact, Adrien was flabbergasted that his father did not appear to intimidate Ross in the slightest. In fact, there was a gleam in Ross’ eye, like he’s just taken up a challenge he’s excited to prove he can complete.

Adrien’s father had only negative things to say about Ross after that, but only very, very repeated complaints over one very specific thing. A subtle change in position, a moment before the camera flashed. One particular pose that Ross just refused to give him. Adrien’s father raved to get the shot redone over and over, but the photographer, and the editor of the magazine the shot was for, were so happy with what they got that they moved on regardless. Adrien has never, not once in his life, taken something like that from his father. If he even tries, he knows he’ll be at the photoshoot all day. They’ll go into overtime, or break and come back the next day, over and over until the shot is exactly to his father’s specifications. And after the call was made to move on to the next set, the almost feral grin on Ross’ face, the wicked sneer he sent to Adrien’s father when no one else was looking, solidified it as being entirely on purpose.

That was the day Adrien knew Ross is no one to be trifled with. A small victory, sure, but one over the man who Adrien never thought could lose. After that day, Adrien’s father stopped working directly with Ross. Adrien still sees him occasionally, but never at shoots his father attends personally. The fact that Adrien still works with him at all is a testament to the fact that Adrien’s father, no matter how much he hates the slight, respects Ross’ work. It’s baffling that Adrien’s father continues to hire him despite hating his guts. A freelancer is already rare in Gabriel, since Adrien’s father is very specific about his image and doesn’t want even the backup models facing other brands if he can help it. Most models are contracted for a whole season. Ross just does individual shoots.

Honestly, Adrien doesn’t know how Ross isn’t more popular than he is, with how everyone fawns over him. Even Adrien’s own father keeps hiring him despite his clear disregard for authority and refusal to sign long-term contracts. It all makes Adrien think that maybe Ross just doesn’t want to be popular.

That’s pretty unfair, too.

“So, you’re jealous.” Alix says sharply. “Because he’s a model, like you, who became friends with Marinette, like you, and you think…”

“He has everything I wanted.” Adrien finishes for her. His job is on his own terms, he’s not trapped into anything at all, not even contracts, he’s somehow managed to slight Adrien’s father and still hold enough respect from him to keep getting gigs, and most importantly, he’s got all the family Adrien wants.

Family. Adrien doesn’t know much about Ross. Maybe his home life is better, too. That would just make sense, really. But even if it’s not, even if it’s worse, Ross gets to casually go about finding family while Adrien has the few friends he’s managed to make taken from him.

“There’s your first problem.” Alix tells him.

* * *

_“People can’t be taken from you. They don’t belong to you to start with.”_

Yeah, that’s… fair. Maybe Adrien has a pretty twisted view of things. Maybe he’s taken it all a bit too far.

He’ll fix it. He just needs to apologize. Really, it was stupid of him not to from the start. If he only apologized, Marinette would have forgiven him. She’s like that. She’s the best of them, after all.

The only chance he has to do so is the charity gala just before school ends. It’ll do. When he arrives, he spends most of his time looking for Marinette. He spies her, a few times, but he’s always swept away by something else and loses her. It’s late into the night when he finally corners Camille.

Not a good idea. Really, he knows better. Camille has a short temper to start with, especially with him, and grabbing her is just asking to have his hand broken.

He really doesn’t mean any harm, though. Still, he supposes he deserves this. One more kick while he’s down. What’s one more to all the ones he’s suffered already?

But Marinette is so sweet, she’s just like he remembers her. She guides him away, lets him apologize. Adrien just _knows_ that this is the start of something good.

“If this apology came three months ago, I might have been able to forgive you.” Marinette says. This… isn’t the Marinette Adrien remembers. She’s cold, harsh. The Marinette that is the best of them is never like this. She’s never steely and closed off. Even when she gets heated, she’s all open for the world to see. This Marinette doesn’t even want to talk to him.

This Marinette is so much like Camille. Camille has always been guarded, even when Adrien worked with her on the movie. This Marinette is so much like _Ross_. There’s an echo of a war in her eyes and Adrien can’t stand that look in the eyes of someone as sweet as Marinette. She’s not supposed to have that look. She’s supposed to be happy, innocent, not haunted.

The only conclusion Adrien can come to is that it’s their fault. Ross. Maybe Camille, too. They stole Marinette and made her as jaded as they are.

_No…_ an akuma breaks in and Adrien is stuck chiding himself. They didn’t steal Marinette. Adrien knows better than that, now. She can’t be stolen. Even still, this change in her has to be their fault. Especially that Ross. It has to be.

He’s separated from Marinette in the panic, and he almost gets away himself until he realizes he can’t transform and hesitates just before his exit is blocked off. What’s even the point of running away now? Adrien wants to help, to be Chat Noir again, but he’s powerless.

He’s ushered away and has to watch from the outside as Ladybug brings in her team to handle Scarlet Moth. They… don’t need him. Velox handles everything with such precision, such ease that Adrien actually growls a little in his throat. He’s been a hero for a couple weeks and he acts like he’s the veteran.

He’s strong enough to be the veteran.

The dragon’s power is making it hard to see inside the hotel, so Adrien misses most of the rest of the fight after he arrives (and Kagami, Chloé, Alya says they lost their Miraculous because of him. Because of Chat’s mistake, Ladybug has to clamp down on rulebreakers in her team. It’s his fault they’re not heroes anymore.).

But no one misses the tiny blur of black, no bigger than Ladybug, or Marinette, sail into the high broken window with a familiar cry in an unfamiliar voice. “Cataclysm!” There’s a ripple through the crowd, anxious gasps when they realize who this new figure is, and who exactly he isn’t.

Ladybug doesn’t bat an eye at this new addition, once things clear enough for Adrien to see. She just deals with the dragon and lets this new cat take their teammate away all on his own. They don’t need Adrien. Ladybug has already replaced him.

Adrien swears Velox smirks at him. He _knows_. Adrien knows he knows. It’s just like him to rub it in.

* * *

_“You hurt her. A lot. Just because she isn’t happy to see you, doesn’t mean she isn’t happy.”_

Adrien shouldn’t have gotten angry. He knows he can’t do that. He doesn’t have the right to be angry with Marinette, no matter what she says or how she looks or who might have taken advantage of her. He treats her like an object. That’s what Alix says. Like a toy that belongs to him and he throws a tantrum when she’s take- when she leaves.

He has to apologize. Ladybug is out of his reach, now, but sweet Marinette is still here. He has to apologize. Adrien is watching for her. He knows she escaped _into_ the building when the battle started, not out of it, and he hasn’t seen her leave yet, so she must still be inside. He just needs to wait until she comes out. Then, he can catch her on her way out and clear everything up.

And that’s exactly what Adrien intends to do. He knows he’s messed up now. He knows what he’s been doing isn’t working. Alix tells him how to fix everything, and Adrien is out of other options at this point, so he’s trying his best to listen to her. And yes, he lost his temper, but he’s _trying_.

He doesn’t trust Ross. He doesn’t understand how anyone can trust Ross. Even if Alix is right about him, that he wants what’s best for Marinette – his family – as much as they do, she’s so, so _wrong_ writing him off as a non-threat that Adrien just can’t take her seriously. Ross is smart. He wields a power on par with Lila for controlling people without making it obvious he’s using them; he might even be better at it than her. The way he holds himself, the way he’s so ready to fight, his closeness with Camille – who has quite a reputation – it’s all telling. Ross can twist people into whatever he wants them to be, then take them out in a single strike. His performance as Velox so far is only proof of what Adrien has seen in him from when Ross came to Marinette’s goodbye. No, even before that. Adrien has known this about Ross since they modelled together over a year ago now.

Ross was just never opposed to Adrien until the goodbye. That kind of power is attractive in an ally, or even in a neutral party. But in an enemy? It’s Adrien’s worst nightmare.

Even still. Even though Adrien knows he’s right that Marinette going to Solset has changed her, and he knows Ross is part of that change, he also knows that he’s out of line. Because Marinette herself? She deserves none of Adrien’s anger. He should not have snapped at her for how she’s changed. That’s just unfair of him.

And _maybe_ he is wrong about Ross, too. Ladybug trusts him, Marinette trusts him, so maybe Adrien really is the one in the wrong. Ladybug has the same instincts as Adrien does. They’re even more finely honed in her. Her kind heart may be her weakness, and Adrien has no doubt Ross will take advantage of that if he has reason to, but she surely can also identify a threat on Ross’ level from miles away. So… maybe he really hasn’t had any malicious intent this whole time. Maybe Alix is right and Adrien’s own twisted view of things is running away from him. Maybe his own jealousy of Ross is making Ross too good of a scapegoat to blame all his problems on.

Bitterly, Adrien thinks that no one should blame him for it. Who wouldn’t be jealous of Ross? He’s just so… strong. Adrien has yet to see him fail at anything. He has this confidence that Adrien can only dream of that’s intoxicating and terrifying and even when he acts like a total weirdo, he’s so unapologetic about it that it doesn’t seem weird at all. That’s just… too much power for a boy like him. And he wields it all with that quiet, mysterious air about him and a rough, down-to-earth vibe that makes him somehow both relatable and ineffable and it’s captivating, confusing, and so, so frightening.

And that’s not even starting on all the recent developments. Velox and Marinette. Ross has earned Ladybug’s favor, trusted to fight even Chat Noir, and he’s earned Marinette’s favor, too, trusted over the class she’s grown up in. Who can really blame Adrien if he lets his jealousy color his view of the boy a bit?

But Adrien has to fix things, and no matter how he feels about it, if he wants Marinette to give him any sort of chance, he has to give Ross a chance, too. Maybe… maybe he can do that. For Marinette’s sake. For the sake of one of his best friends.

Marinette comes out with Camille and Adrien immediately springs into action. He tries to cut her off, to apologize, because he lost his cool with her and he shouldn’t have, but she has no patience for him at all. “You already said your piece. My family needs me. Move.”

Adrien tries, he tries so hard to convey to her everything he wants to say, but Camille is on a very, very fragile leash, held back only by Marinette, and right now Marinette has a fury in her eyes that Adrien doesn’t recognize – it’s similar to how she looks at Lila, but _more_ – and Adrien simply can’t stand up against the girls. He’s not brave enough. So, he backs away like a coward and lets her pass unimpeded.

The glare that Camille sends him tells him that decision may very well have saved his life.

_Family?_ Adrien ponders Marinette’s words. To his knowledge, Marinette’s family is just fine. She doesn’t usually react this way to akuma attacks, especially if her parents and brother are nowhere nearby. But… her friend _was_ a little twitchy, wasn’t he? The cute, blue-haired one. (The nice one.) Adrien thinks he remembers that from before the attack, and now that he thinks about it, he hasn’t seen the guy since Velox pulled him and Kagami out of the party. He hasn’t seen Kagami either, now that he thinks about it.

Maybe Marinette is talking about him? Alix says Marinette calls him family, too.

Adrien feels… empty. Hollow.

* * *

_“If you want to blame her leaving on anything but ourselves, you’re just as bad as Chat Noir.”_

Alix isn’t talking to him. After she runs out of things to lecture him on, she tells him she’ll talk to him again if he starts acting like the friend he’s supposed to be. For Marinette, is the unspoken clarification.

Adrien is left floundering in the depths, drowning once again, searching desperately for what will save him. Briefly, he thought Alix would, but she’s dropped him once more. Thrown him in the deep end with her lessons expecting him to swim. It’s terrifying, but eventually he has an idea. Marinette.

She saved Chloé, after all. Everyone likes Chloé now. To an extent, anyway. Alix is more than willing to treat her like a friend. Some of the others are more wary, but Nino is best friends with her. Nino _used_ to be best friends with Adrien.

Marinette’s influence has made Chloé into someone Nino wants to be best friends with. Therefore, if Adrien can get Marinette to help him, he can make himself into someone Nino wants to be best friends with again. He can start making steps to getting his life back to… as normal as it can get back to.

And Adrien isn’t stupid. If he really wants to commit to this, to accepting this new normal, then the best new normal within reach is the one where he has the rest of the class as friends, not Lila. But… if he leaves Lila, then she’ll be all alone. No one else will talk to her.

Adrien fights with this dilemma, wanting to move forward but not sure if he can, and then Lila slides into her seat next to him, sidles up to cling to his arm, and opens her big mouth. She talks about her advice to Ladybug, to give Chat Noir his Miraculous back – he deserves it – but Ladybug just refuses to listen to her and gave it instead to… someone. She rambles about knowing the boy but Adrien knows she’s lying and has no interest in hearing theories about his replacement.

Adrien also doesn’t remember what lie Lila has spun that involves her knowing Ladybug (again) or Ladybug being mad at her (he wishes he can wonder why), so Lila’s tale in its entirety is a bit outside his understanding, but none of that really matters, anyway. What matters is what Alix says in response.

“Of course, you would encourage Ladybug’s harasser. You do the same thing to Adrien.”

Adrien… really wishes that Alix would start being wrong more often. He can’t exactly argue that he’s comfortable with Lila hanging off him. Flirting with him. Spreading rumors about them being together.

He also can’t argue that he hasn’t done those exact things with Ladybug. Every one of them. He’s just sitting there, in class, with Alix’s words echoing in his head, and it’s a bit of a rude awakening to him when it finally hits him.

He doesn’t have to put up with this. Ladybug didn’t, and she’s the paragon of goodness. Ladybug kicked him to the curb and took his Miraculous, labelled him unworthy because of this exact behavior. And it _is_ uncomfortable. Adrien only has to attend class with this kind of bother on him – and he’s already an intelligent kid who finds school largely easy regardless. He can only imagine how much undue stress he’s put on Ladybug.

But if Ladybug can get rid of him because of it, he has to be justified in getting rid of Lila, right? Maybe they both will have deserved it.

Why not? What does he have to lose? At this point, who cares if he makes Lila miserable? It’s Lila’s fault Marinette is gone, and the family Marinette loves so much would rejoice at Lila’s misery. Maybe hurting Lila is exactly what he needs to do.

Or maybe, because he had to be literally kicked into the dirt to force him to stop his own behavior towards Ladybug, his first step towards redemption for that is stopping that same behavior somewhere else. Adrien isn’t entirely sure, if he’s honest, but he does make his decision.

Lila cries. She cries a lot. But just when Adrien’s heart wavers, he looks to the rest of the class for support and, for the first time in months, finds it. Nino smiles and nods approvingly, Alya’s glare softens and reconsiders him, if for only a moment, and Alix pats his shoulder and drags him away.

She doesn’t actually hang out with him, but she says she’s giving him an excuse to get away from Lila. To let her cry on her own and not have to deal with it. She acts like it’s her gift to him. Or maybe his reward.

It… feels a lot like a reward.

He’ll try to keep this up, to think more carefully, and reach out. The end of the year party is just around the corner. Maybe he’ll see Marinette there. Maybe, if he explains to her that he wants to get better, she’ll help him. She’s the best of them, she likes helping. All he has to do is follow her example, and then he’ll have friends again. Maybe even a family.

* * *

_“You’re not hopeless, Adrien, but some things just can’t be fixed.”_

Marinette will forgive him. Or, at the very least, she won’t hate him. And if he wants her help, Adrien has to reveal to her the full extent of his crimes.

He’s never pretended he did nothing wrong. He knew when he was fighting Ladybug that he wasn’t on the side of good. He just… thought he was right. Right, not good. Turns out, he’s not even that. Marinette can help with that.

She doesn’t trust him though. Of course, she doesn’t. She has no reason to. It hurts, but he’s aware enough to accept that.

“Then become the kind of man people can’t look away from.”

Marinette says no. She refuses to help him get better. She refuses to help him become what he thinks he sees in her eyes. The worst part is that he doesn’t blame her. She has tried with him, and he’s thrown her chances in her face. To ask for another is… well, he can’t blame her for being done with him.

He still has her parting advice, though. Chloé wasn’t _made_ better, she _became_ better. She did and is doing it on her own, with Marinette only as an example. It’s Chloé’s words that make him realize if he wants to be better, he’s got to do it all himself. Other people can guide him, but they can’t pull him along. They can be low barriers along the path, but the choice to continue along the path they set or to trod over them to stray is up to him. Moving at all, in any direction, is up to him.

And, well, if Marinette says so, that’s exactly what Adrien will do. He’ll become better, under his own power. He’ll take _himself_ into his own hands, not Marinette or Ladybug or Ross or anyone else, just himself. And he’ll become like Marinette. A person that inspires other people. A person that everyone looks to for guidance, whose presence guides them on their own journeys. That’s what she’s asking of him. That’s what he will do.

He… is probably overstaying his welcome. Marinette is done with him, the rest are certainly not pleased with him. It’s time to go home. Maybe next time Adrien sees Marinette things will be different. He’ll be different.

Ross stops him. Adrien tries to slip away quietly. He thinks it’s an easy task. After Marinette’s group turns their backs on him, he just… walks away. But Ross stops him. Adrien’s not really sure why, since Ross quite literally cannot talk to him. There’s nothing to say between them. Nothing that can be said. But Ross stops him and Adrien finds himself staring into Ross’ burning gaze.

It’s… hard to look away.

Adrien apologizes again. He doesn’t fully trust Ross, especially not with Marinette, but… when he takes a step back, he can at least acknowledge what should have been obvious from the beginning. Ross cares about Marinette. Even if he’s not necessarily the best influence, he’s at least doing all he can for her. That means… something. Marinette may have changed, but at least Adrien knows his… ex-friend now is taken care of. Probably Ladybug, too.

Standing under Ross’ gaze feels very much like standing under the gaze of Adrien’s father. He’s scrutinized, to the minute detail. But there’s a different edge to it. Adrien’s father is judging, critiquing. Ross is analyzing. Ross isn’t interested at all in changing Adrien, only in figuring him out. Adrien’s father’s gaze makes him feel like some sort of object, to be dusted and polished. It’s uncomfortable and frightening. Ross’ gaze makes him feel… strangely seen. Adrien always imagined the feeling would be nice, that someone sees past his exterior, past what his father polishes him into, but truthfully he’s not entirely sure how he feels about it. It’s exciting, but embarrassing. It makes his heart hammer in his chest, and bile rise into his throat. The terror that he won’t measure up remains no matter whose eyes are on him.

Adrien’s already lost that battle with Ladybug. With Master Fu. He isn’t enough for them. Rightly, but still. He’s never been quite enough for his father, at least not enough for any worthwhile attention from the man. He’s not enough for Camille, who sees him as only a traitor to precious Marinette, for Nino, who feels betrayed that Adrien’s ideals allowed him to be tricked, for Alya, who seems as aware of his faults as Ross, for Alix, who took pity on him once upon a time and gave him a thorough tongue-lashing that Adrien hopes is enough to carry him into some semblance of good.

Ross smirks, rolls his eyes, and turns away. Adrien supposes Ross has found whatever he was looking for in him. He seems satisfied with himself. Probably is. He probably knows how much of an influence he was, how far he’s dragged Adrien down without lifting a finger. How far Adrien has plummeted with him as an… excuse. Just an excuse, really. A shameful excuse.

Movement catches Adrien’s eye, and he looks up. Ross is turned back to him, grinning lazily. He waves a bright red apple – the color seems a little too saturated in the dim night – and tosses it to Adrien.

Adrien catches the thing and looks to Ross, wondering what he’s doing. The apple must come from the snack table. There’s a bunch of fruits there. Fruits are nice during the summer. It’s warm, though. Not oddly so, just as if someone has been holding onto it for a while. Ross certainly hasn’t gone all the way to the table and come back in the time Adrien’s been in his thoughts, so he must have had it in his pocket. That would explain it.

But why is Ross giving this to him?

Ross just shakes a little, a silent laugh, and waves him away. With a wink and nothing more, Ross returns to the party, not looking back.

* * *

_“Then become the kind of man people can’t look away from.”_

Adrien eats the apple. Why not? It was given to him, so it’s only polite. Even if he wasn’t invited to the party, this bit of it was freely given.

_Oh._ Maybe that’s what it’s about. It… feels a lot like a reward.

Looking down at the browning core in his hand, Adrien smiles. The sweetness of the apple still lingers on his lips and tingles from the inside out. The more he thinks about it, the more certain he is. It _is_ a reward. That sly look Ross gave him, the laugh at his confusion, it’s all Ross talking to him. A wink. It’s to tell him that he did something good, and that someone noticed.

Strange, that it’s Ross who chose to reward him this way. Ross, who held Camille back from obliterating him as he was trying to apologize. (Maybe that one’s more for Camille’s sake. Adrien doubts Ross wants to see her sent to jail for murder.) Ross, who this whole time Adrien was convinced was his greatest enemy.

But Ross has never seen it that way, has he? Has Ross given Adrien even a passing thought when they weren’t crossing paths? Adrien isn’t sure he knows enough about Ross to answer that, but… there’s a strange feeling in his gut. Warm, like the apple from Ross’ pocket. He _wants_ Ross to have thought about him. Maybe then his own thoughts count as more justified. He doubts it, though. He doubts Ross cares one bit what happens to him.

But then why give him the apple?

Adrien collapses on his bed. He throws the apple core in the trash and covers his face with his arm. What’s wrong with him? It’s a silly little apple. It probably doesn’t mean anything at all. That fox is probably just messing with him. His last little bit of vengeance for everything. Small as this vengeance may be.

Still, it’s nice to have it. It’s nice to be given it. It’s only one small, insignificant thing, but it’s more than Adrien expects. Adrien brings his sticky fingers to his mouth, hoping to clean them of the residue, and tastes the sweet apple once more. It… really is nice. The best feeling Adrien has had in a long time.


End file.
